How to Inspire Growth, Not Grit Teeth
Picture this: you’ve just wrapped up a performance review. You’ve ticked the boxes, delivered the feedback, and now you’re left with a strange aftertaste—like you’ve just handed someone a mirror and asked them to critique their reflection in public.
You meant to inspire.
Instead, you may have hit a nerve.
Sound familiar?
Traditional feedback is like trying to drive forward while staring in the rearview mirror. It’s backward-facing, riddled with vague recollections, and often triggers defensiveness rather than development. And your best people? They see right through it.
It’s time for something better. Something human. Something that fuels growth—not fear.
The Problem with “Constructive Criticism”
Let’s be honest: performance reviews and 360° feedback sessions have earned their bad reputation. They’re like colonoscopies—necessary, but nobody’s lining up with excitement.
While they’re often well-intentioned—meant to foster growth, alignment, and improvement—they usually miss the mark. Why? Because they’re rooted in critique, not curiosity. They highlight what was, rather than what could be.
Instead of connection, they create distance.
Instead of motivation, they generate shame.
Instead of action, they spark avoidance.
That’s not feedback. That’s friction.
Enter Feedforward: A Better Way to Grow
The antidote to feedback fatigue? Feedforward.
First coined by I.A. Richards in 1951 and popularized in leadership circles by Marshall Goldsmith, the concept flips the script. Feedforward is about what’s next, not what went wrong.
It’s proactive, constructive, and grounded in possibility. It helps people envision future success and co-create a path to get there. In Joe Hirsch’s The Feedback Fix, he calls it “a kinder, specific, and more scalable way to help people grow.”
Think of it as planting seeds, not pulling weeds.
And while the concept isn’t new, it’s just beginning to catch fire in organizations willing to evolve. Because change takes time—and courage.
The Feedforward Framework: Constructive Conversations that Stick
So how do you do feedforward? Here’s a practical framework inspired by the brilliant work of Roxy Bahar Hewertson, and adapted through my own experience coaching teams and executives:
1. Lay the Foundation
Before the conversation even begins, prep the soil.
- What’s the current emotional climate?
- What’s going on personally or professionally for the other person?
- What’s your intention?
- What mindset do you need to be in to lead with compassion?
2. Frame It in the Positive
Start with purpose.
- Why are you having this conversation?
- What do you hope will come of it?
- What shared goal are you aiming for?
This sets a collaborative tone, not a confrontational one.
3. Share Observations (Not Judgments)
Stick to specific behaviors and actions—things that can be observed, measured, and changed. Leave personality out of it. “I noticed in the last three meetings…” carries more clarity than “You’re not a team player.”
4. Describe the Impact
Bridge today to tomorrow.
- What’s the effect of the current behavior?
- What’s the ideal state you’re aiming for?
- What’s possible if this shift happens?
5. Invite Input
Here’s where the magic happens. Ask. Listen. Reflect.
- “How do you see it?”
- “What’s your perspective?”
- “Is there something I’m missing?”
This isn’t about being right—it’s about being in relationship.
6. Co-Create an Action Plan
Now that the soil is fertile, plant the seeds of change—together.
- Define next steps.
- Set a timeline.
- Offer your support.
Feedforward is a shared vision, not a solo mission.
Walking the Feedback Tightrope
“But how do I balance honesty with kindness?” you might ask.
This is where science meets art.
Use Gottman’s Magic Ratio as a guide: 5 positive interactions to every 1 constructive note. It’s not just for couples—it works wonders in teams, too. Particularly for those new in their roles, in learning mode, or feeling shaky in their footing.
Psychological safety is also key. Adults might look tough, but we’re all soft-skinned underneath. Your words are powerful—use them to build up, not break down.
Remember: people want to do well. Your role as a leader is to make it safe and possible for them to do so.
Speak Their Language: Tailor Feedback to Personality
Ever give feedback that didn’t land—even though your intention was pure?
It might’ve been a language mismatch. Not just verbal language, but behavioral language. Tools like The Predictive Index Behavioral Assessment help decode team members’ natural drives and preferences.
Tailoring your approach to personality types increases clarity and impact. Whether you’re talking to a detail-driven Guardian, a high-energy Promoter, or an independent Scholar, adjusting your tone and method makes all the difference.
Not sure where to start? Begin with curiosity. Ask them what kind of feedback helps them thrive.
From Feed-BACK to Feed-FORWARD: The Transformation
When leaders make this shift, here’s what changes:
- Teams stop bracing for performance reviews and start asking for development.
- Conversations become growth-focused, not gut-wrenching.
- Feedback becomes a living, evolving practice—not an annual event.
And most importantly, your people feel seen, valued, and capable of greatness.
That’s the kind of workplace we all want to be part of.
Ready to Lead the Shift?
Talent optimization starts with transforming how we talk to—and grow with—our teams. Let’s ditch the backward glance and start designing the future.
Want to see how feedforward + behavioral inights can transform your team?
🧭 Ready to lead your industry with a human-first feedback system?
Let’s co-create a culture where people thrive.
