Aha! Moments

Those major paradigm shifts that occur in nanoseconds

They are brilliant, aren’t they?

Like shooting stars in the night sky.

The universe downloads key information directly to our brains and it rapidly spreads through our entire operating system. 

Magic

Do you recall all of your most impactful Aha! moments? {neither do I}

As time marches on they begin to fade. So too their impact on our daily lives. 

What if we could capture them?

You know, like fireflies in a mason jar on a lazy summer night. 

But instead of keeping them trapped until they die, we capture the essence of their brilliance and encode it within our internal operating system. 

Weaving the wisdom of these moments into our decision-making process and experiencing better outcomes, or at a bare minimum a better frame of mind in which to perceive them.

My most recent ‘aha!’

For the past several months, I have been working with Ray Edwards and his team to improve my writing skills and expand into new genres. You see, my background and training is very stuffy, technical, academic, research-based writing. 

And though I identify as a scholarly nerd, in my heart I’ve never enjoyed the technical, peer-reviewed journal style of writing. Ever. 

It’s painful to write and painful to read. 

Sadly, in the plethora of academic journals, textbooks, research reports, and white papers available to us, relatively little of the knowledge and insights gleaned find their way into the hands of those who could benefit the most.

I digress. 

Yesterday I was listening to Ray speak about processes and frameworks [of which I am a huge fan and if you missed my blurb on frameworks you can click here to peruse]. Anyhow, he had my total attention. 

Then he said this…

“I’m not obligated to be the victim of everybody’s dysfunction.”  

Whoa!! Sit with that one for a moment or two. 

Revel in how great it feels to realize, suddenly and profoundly, that We (you and me) can unleash that same power. 

Break those chains of bondage. Stop paying for someone else’s inequities. 

I invite you to take a moment and think about people in your world who are unreliable, fail to hold themselves accountable or responsible, ignore boundaries, and expect someone else to pick up the pieces. 

Imagine saying to them, in a loving manner that honors your values and your boundaries: “I am not obligated to be the victim of your dysfunction.”

Do you feel light as a feather? As if a weight has been lifted? Maybe you breathe deeper. 

What is possible in life and work when we shift our stance from seeing problems to seeing opportunities?

Rather than framing an issue from the place of, “I am responsible for…” {heavy burden}

We draw the boundary line and take the stance, “I am responsible to…” {empowered}

This is the Leadership Shift

Leaders, whether at home or at work, are responsible to those they lead. 

Which looks like providing a safe environment, opportunities for development, creating systems that support, listening with more than sound, being in tune with the internal environment while maintaining an acute awareness of external threats, defining accountability in action, and oh so much more. 

It’s no small feat. 

And often feels thankless. 

Yet we persist, because it matters. 

Being the best version of ourselves and showing up for those we love and those we lead.

Hungry for more?

These books have helped me on my journey and they might help you as well.

• You Are the One You’ve Been Waiting For, by Richard C. Schwartz
• The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz
• Fierce Conversations, by Susan Scott
• Fierce Leadership, by Susan Scott
• Boundaries, by Dr. Henry Cloud