When What Was, Is No Longer: Leading Through Change

Have you ever been blindsided?

In the blink of an eye, every aspect of your life can change.

Maybe it was a professional shift that reshaped your role, or a personal loss that altered your outlook. Circumstances – or people – you were once certain about, depended on, and trusted to be there are gone. Poof!

Change is rarely easy, especially when it upends everything we trusted and depended on. In moments like these, grief, resistance, and confusion take center stage, leaving us feeling lost and even powerless.

This can continue as long as you allow it to…this pain and turmoil which morphs into anger and ultimately madness if left unchecked. Though it doesn’t feel like you have any power over it and you are at the mercy of forces outside of your control, there is a way out. What if there’s a way to lead through change that fosters resilience, curiosity, and connection?

Acceptance. Once we accept the change – and imminent cascade of consequences – a different way of being emerges.

This is where our work begins, but not in the way we’ve been conditioned to think about it or approach it. Sadly, the norm we have allowed to proliferate and continue to embrace is one rooted in fear. But there is another way. Several actually. Few things in life are black and white.

Open Hearts, Open Minds. Embracing Childlike Curiosity

Remember when you were a child? Full of wonder and curiosity, you embraced new experiences and had lots of questions…

‘What is this?’ Pointing to a caterpillar sitting atop a leaf.

‘Where are we going?’ While being dressed by mom or dad for an untold adventure.

‘Who will color with me?’ Hoping your big sister would volunteer because she made coloring fun and showed you how to make colors darker or lighter, how to mix colors to make a new one, and how to easily stay inside the lines.

‘How can I get another popsicle?’ The red one was delicious and now I am curious about the purple one.

Take a moment to close your eyes and travel back in time to a happy moment in your childhood when there was more wonder than worry.

Enjoy every sensation all over again – warmth, joy, comfort, belonging, peace, excitement, happiness.

Go deep…

Where are you?
Who’s with you?
What season is it?
What are you wearing?
What activities are you engaged in?
What’s your favorite treat and who is sitting next to you enjoying it too?
What are you curious about on this day?

Embracing today with childlike wonder and curiosity

Let’s take those images, thoughts, wonders, ideas, sensations and use them as a lens to look through today, right now.

Riddle me this: If your 5-year old self (or whatever age you were in the above exploration) was standing next to you, leaning on the arm of your desk chair, and looking over your shoulder at what you’re working on, what questions would she or he ask you?

Imagine looking into those big, gleaming eyes that just want to experience life and play. That big heart that searches for love and connection. What do those eyes see? Problems or opportunities? What does that big, loving heart truly desire? Does it want to sever ties or connect and collaborate?

Yeah, but…[Recognizing and Reframing Self-Doubt]

I hear you. I too resist and offer strong counter points more than I like to admit at this point in my life.

Let me ask you, does this nagging voice sound familiar?

‘It’s different now, you were a child then and didn’t know the things you know now.’

‘My younger self couldn’t possibly understand the complexities of this situation, his or her simplistic view isn’t going to help me now.’

‘We can’t play or sing our way out of this one, this is serious and will require brute strength and logic.’

The voices of the Judge and fellow Saboteurs are loud.

They invoke feelings of guilt, regret, shame, disappointment, anxiety, fear, anger, impatience, loneliness, being misunderstood, skepticism, cynicism, worry, overwhelm, or melancholy.

And although they served the purpose of keeping us safe as we grew up, they no longer serve us in a way that is helpful.

A healthy amount of fear keeps us alive and somewhat safe as we grow and find our way in the world. When fear overrides love, and pushes acceptance, curiosity, and wonder out of the way, everyone loses.

Change is [_________].

(adjective)

Agreed. It’s all those things and more.

Sometimes, the ‘more’ can be exciting. Possibly even innovative.

Maybe even welcomed once the shock subsides and the new paradigm – or way of being – proves itself worthy of the growing pains associated with transformation.

Remember the caterpillar you were once curious about? You discovered it made a cocoon, shifted around the important parts while those that were no longer needed turned into slimy goo, and eventually emerged as a butterfly. Wow!

I wonder how the caterpillar felt about the time spent in the pupal stage? My guess would be something along the lines of how we feel when going through a big change. Uncertain. Uncomfortable. Hopeful.

Navigating the Sea of Change: Leading With Purpose and Connection

Those of us who have been called to lead – be it at work or home, guiding a small team or multiple divisions across the globe – are charged with the care and protection of precious cargo across a vast, often unwieldy sea. We are captains, so to speak.

Our duty isn’t merely to get the ship from one port to the next, though strategy and skills are important and strategic objectives serve as lighthouses along the coastline guiding our path.

Our most important work is to serve and protect our most precious cargo, our people.

All of our people. Those aboard with us, working with us to weather the storms and arrive at our destination in one piece. And those who await the products and services created to meet their needs and improve their lives.

You know what’s most amazing about these people?

Their heart’s desire…to be part of the solution, to play to their strengths, to make the journey enjoyable, to learn new things, to connect with one another in a meaningful way, to find wonder and joy in the beauty of it all.

Just like they did when they were 5.

A note for those who have been overcome by the voices of the Judge and Saboteurs or who have experienced extreme amounts of trauma and can’t seem to find the light: there are times in our lives when it all can just become too much and we feel as though we are losing our grasp.

In times like this, I encourage you to reach out for help. If speaking to a human is too scary, I recommend reading as a first step (I will list a few I have found helpful below). If you feel a safe space and conversation would be helpful, I encourage you to find a friend you can trust, a counselor, or a clinical psychologist. Humans were made for connection and love, when we don’t have it we struggle…this is normal, the struggle, which is why we need someone in our corner. If you find that things are mostly going well and you would like help navigating a change in your work, support during a big project, or help forming new habits and learning new skills that lead to improved communication, impact, and outcomes, I encourage you to find an advisor or executive coach.

An Introduction to Internal Family Systems, by Richard C. Schwartz
You Are the One You’ve Been Waiting For, by Richard C. Schwartz
Positive Intelligence, by Shirzad Chamine
Healing Through the Dark Emotions, by Miriam Greenspan

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Jason G.

May 2, 2024.

I’ve had the pleasure of working with Nicole as a consultant, trainer, and administrator of Predictive Index for both for-profit and non-profit entities. In both cases, the PI software proved to have an immediate impact on my teams With the non-profit organization, we used PI to evaluate both our board members and frontline outreach teams. The PI data was used to better align our board committees and to give our executive director an easy-to-read playbook for managing the diverse personalities and motivations of a growing board. I’m unaware of what other tools could have given us the deep insights we got from PI, and they came at a critical time. It was indeed a blessing. With our outreach teams, PI gave us the same level of operational management insight. We were also able to leverage the software as a screening tool within our hiring process. Nicole trained several of our board members and team leads on the software so that we had the working knowledge to access and integrate the many recommendations into our daily workflows. Due to the successful implementation with the non-profit, I introduced Nicole to the HR manager at my employer. I suggested an in-house demo with one of our teams that needed some tweaking following a recent expansion. There was some hesitation, even a little pushback. Some team members felt we were “too busy” even to take the questionnaire, let alone roll out whatever new practices it would recommend. What’s rewarding about PI is that the whole system initiates with two simple questions. Even those in opposition had to yield to its simplicity. From there, it was a similar experience as that with the non-profit. The “work-style” assessments were incredibly accurate, and they immediately helped the team’s directors identify the sources of common tension points within the group. I left that organization for a C-level position with another company, and I was able to perform the same team and organizational assessments for my new group. Consistently, PI delivered the relevant insights to empower us as leaders to get the most out of our group. Beyond that, the PI assessments spotlight what our organization is presently set up to accomplish vs. what we, as leaders, have defined as our organizational goals. That distinction is invaluable and eye-opening as we focus our strategic plans. Far more than the value of the software, Nicole’s expertise, generosity, patience, and compassionate nature have been instrumental in helping our teams understand and adopt the PI recommendations. We operate in a competitive industry, and people management has never been as challenging as now with the recent shifts in the labor market. I’m thankful to have PI as a tool and Meraki as a partner to help us be more skillful and efficient in our people management, which, of course, translates directly to the successful delivery of our products and services.

T.H., Non-profit

January 6, 2024.

The depth of Nicole’s heart is unmeasurable. I met her for the first time in a parking lot unloading necessities for a group of young people who were searching for guidance and in need of necessities. Her giving didn’t stop there. She continued to bless our non-profit with her gifts and resources. Two years later she is pouring into our organization with her wisdom, using the Predictive Index to build a foundation that has taken our non-profit to stages that a “new” and “small” non-profit can only dream and hope for. Her wisdom, gifts, and talents have changed our organization! We doubled our guesstimated reach of serving vulnerable youth this year, youth that are wandering our streets, in the community we call home, searching for someone who will show them their worth. Our mission is that no youth will journey life on their own without a consistent, healthy adult beside them. Meraki Consulting Partner is walking beside our team and we are so deeply grateful, as is our community and the youth we’re currently serving and will serve! Thank you!

P.C. ,Travel

December 15, 2023.

“I have gone into a coaching session completely broken and in tears. Everything seemed to be going wrong in my life and work was a nightmare. Nicole listened to everything I said and even brought things to my attention that I had never really thought about. By the end of our session, I was laughing and had a game plan for tackling issues at work and home.”

D.R., Engineer

October 12, 2023.

"Nicole is undaunted in her approach to breaking down the barriers of limiting beliefs. Thanks to her I have a new appreciation for my strengths and talents and the desire to grow even more than I have already.”